It was my
first Tinder date and I obviously had no idea what I was doing, but I wanted to
look like I did.
I had a
plan.
We were to
meet at The Reverence in Footscray at 6pm. I was going to give the Tinder Date
two hours and then I was going to meet my girlfriends at Back Alley Sally’s at
8pm as a ‘Get Out Of Jail Free’ card. If we liked each other, we would plan
another date. If we didn’t, I had an escape route.
It seemed
flawless.
Except upon
arriving at The Reverence five minutes early, I discovered it was closed. The
only other bar I could think of moving the date to was Back Alley Sally’s
around the corner where I was meeting my pals. It was a risk, but I was under
time pressure and I had to make a decision. Fast.
After
changing my seating position three times: the booth (too open), the bar (too
closed), the corner table with stools (too awkward in high waisted jeans), I
chose an open large table that wasn’t too noisy. The bar was super warm and
friendly in comparison to the rainy Melbourne night, and the beer selection was
ripe for the picking.
My date
arrived from the inner Northern suburb of Carlton admitting that the change in
venue and the threatening dark laneway where Back Alley Sally’s sits in
Footscray was a little scary.
The bar had
already made me feel at ease so we discussed the venue, the attractive staff,
the beers and pizzas available from Slice Girls West below.
Then it got serious. My date stopped the conversation bluntly, staring me intently in the eye, pausing to gather his thoughts. He was scripting something.
‘Ali. I’m
so sorry. I really am. I just have to tell you something and I’m not sure how
this is going to go.’
I felt
sick. I was a crap date.
‘Your fly
is so undone. It’s so open. I’m trying so hard to look you straight in the eye
and hold conversation, but I can’t go on. I’m sorry.’
I looked
down and my 30cm zipper on my high waisted jeans was wide open, like a vortex,
alarmingly displaying my white knickers for all to see. Sitting on a stool did
not help this situation.
I zipped up
and told my Tinder Date that I wanted to go home. He laughed, explained that he
was ready to move on and continue our time as long as I could forget that it
had happened (I obviously haven’t). So we drank more beers and smashed out a
few laughs. He was a funny guy.
Ten minutes
before my girlfriends were set to arrive, I gave him a warning: ‘My girfriends
are on their way, they will squeal with delight at catching us on a Tinder
Date, they will quiz you, they will drink and swear and ask you intimate
questions. You are welcome to stay and drink with us, or you can use this time
as your get out of jail free card.’
He stayed.
We drank. We laughed. My girlfriends quizzed. It was now a Tinder Date of Five.
He left a while later and we exchanged numbers. I ran back inside the bar and debriefed
with my girlfriends over more beer and pizzas from Slice Girls West.
The pizza
toppings quickly diverted our discussion: The Forever Mushroom with its
truffle-scent provided distraction from the filthy but entertaining
conversation coming from our booth. The crust was perfect in my opinion, not
too thin, prepared well and cared for and cut in perfect sharable sizes. The
Wannabe Warwick pizza with its artichokes and capers matched our gossipy
squeals as our table discussed boys like we were 16 again. But it wasn’t just
the pizzas, the Tinder Date banter and booze that made for an excellent night;
the staff at Back Alley Sally’s were so friendly, the venue was cosy and I felt
like I was surrounded by friends even though the bar was full of strangers.
It was an
excellent start to a new friendship. The Tinder Date got my number and we
ventured out a week later on a second date. There quite possibly might be a
third. Perhaps it was because of my cool choice of venue or maybe it was my
ridiculous friends, either way if you’re looking for a sweet place to meet a
kind stranger, Back Alley Sally’s might just be the spot you’ve been searching
for.
Back Alley
Sally’s and Slice Girls West can be found at 4 Yewers Street, Footscray. Visit www.backalleysallys.com.au for more information and to view the delicious menu.
Photos courtesy Back Alley Sally's.
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