It’s a
famous line in the Kindergarten Cop flick
You know
the one, where the little boy’s so slick
When he
states to Arnie, in the classic one liner
That
‘boys have a penis, and girls a vagina’.
It’s
stuck with me for all of these years
A line
that’s shouted with peers and beers
But now
with my two-year-old boy in tow
He
thinks it’s something that everyone must know.
While
standing in a very long bank queue
My son
(who is also fascinated with poo)
Went up
to a stranger, and pointed at his dacks
And
shouted ‘doodle?’followed by sniggers and cracks.
The man
looked at me, unsure what to do
I
explained that my son had just turned two
That he
was curious about the thing in his nappy
But
talking about it seemed to make him happy.
The
tantrums themselves are awkward enough
But how
in the hell are you meant to handle this stuff?
There’s
a time and a place for this chat, to be frank
But it’s
not the time, nor the place when we are in a bank.
It’s no
different at all when we go to the zoo
Where
there are plenty of doodles and a whole lot of poo
We
explore all the gardens and eat picnic feasts
But it
all gets exciting when we check out the beasts.
Just
last week, we watched the elephants play
My son
glued to the fence on this rainy day
Then a
male elephant weed and boy it was a hit
And on
top of that he took a massive shit.
Oh the
squeals of delights, from my son and other boys
Who were
all lined up, attracted by the noise
The
other parents and I all rolled our eyes
I was
thankful that the excitement was no surprise.
In my
household filled with blokey gents
Where
it’s rare if anyone is wearing pants
I feel
left out because I’m ‘missing a tail’
But at
the end of the day, I’m proud to be female.
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